Heather Ainsley
ECB Publishing, Inc.
Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. Every nine minutes, that victim is a child. These startling statistics are compiled every five years by RAINN.org, also known as the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.
Because a vast amount of sexual crimes go unreported, compiling accurate statistics is a challenge, especially considering that many reports and data comes from the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS). The NCVS relies on interviews with victims, which means that statistics involving children under the age of 12 are not included in the NCVS data. RAINN uses information from the NCVS, as well as credible studies from the FBI, Department of Justice, Department of Health and Human Services and other government and academic sources to create an accurate list of data and statistics surrounding sexual abuse. For the latest RAINN statistics, visit Rainn.org.
Sexual Abuse, also called rape, sexual assault and sexual violence, is defined as any sexual contact or behavior that happens without your consent. Sexual consent means actively agreeing to be sexual with someone. Active agreement means continuous permission during the entire sexual experience with a partner, from start to finish. At any point in a sexual interaction, consent can be revoked should a person feel uncomfortable, pained, unsafe or unwilling to continue. Continuation of a sexual encounter with an unwilling partner is sexual assault, even if the encounter began as a consensual act. Rape is a crime, even when it occurs within a romantic partnership, including marriage. While all of these statements seem rudimentary, the statistics behind sexual abuse are staggering.
Sexual violence can happen to anyone.
Sex is an intimate part of the human experience. Human sexual behavior has sociological, cognitive, emotional, biological and behavioral aspects that include personal bonding, sharing emotions and the physiology of the reproductive system. As such a fundamental part of our personal and private lives, when something goes awry, it can lead to a huge amount of shame, trauma and secrecy. Rape statistics show that less than 20 percent of rapes, completed or attempted, are ever reported. The general consensus is that rape is still considered something shameful, hence victim reluctance to come forward. Efforts are being made throughout society and support groups to normalize speaking out against abusers, even when speaking about sensitive or embarrassing subjects. Here are some things you should know:
If you have experienced sexual assault, abuse or coercion, know that it is never your fault. It wasn't what you were wearing, what your emotional state was, or how much alcohol you had to drink. Remember, no matter what the situation is, your chances of being raped or assaulted sexually are always zero, unless you are in the presence of a rapist. The fault will always be the fault of the person who committed the crime. As a man or a woman, child or adult, you could be walking down the road stark-naked, by yourself, distracted, all alone and vulnerable, and you would still be completely safe if you were not in the presence of a criminal. It is not your fault this happened to you. No one asks to be violated, injured, abused or humiliated. Perpetrators who are intoxicated or under the influence of drugs are still responsible for their actions and behaviors.
During a sexual assault, it is completely normal to have a physical response, even if you do not want and do not consent to the contact. Victims of rape may feel confused and ashamed if they experience sensations of pleasure or orgasm during a sexual assault. This is completely normal, and are biological responses to outside stimulus and does not make the assault okay or any less of a crime. Additionally, victims may feel guilt for fighting their attackers, or for not fighting back to avoid injury. Whatever a person does to survive a sexual assault is the appropriate action. Rape can be life threatening. Submission is not the same as cooperation, and there are many reasons a victim might not physically fight their attacker, including, shock, fear, threats or the sheer size and strength of the attacker. Whatever you have to do to survive an attack is not a matter you deserve to feel bad about.
Victims who experience coercion or pressure from their romantic partner may feel extreme guilt and distress after an unwanted sexual encounter, and are thus much less likely to report an assault. It is important to understand that even in a relationship, coercion is not consent. Marriage does not make rape okay. Years in a long-term relationship does not entitle any other person to your body without your permission. You have the right to say no, and the other person must listen. If they do not listen, and engage in sexual contact with you anyway, it is sexual assault. There is no grey area.
If you have experienced sexual abuse, there is help out there. Call (800) 656-HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area. Callers will receive confidential support from trained staff, will be given support in finding local health facilities that are trained to care for survivors of sexual assault, can speak to someone that can help them talk though what happened, can receive long-term support in their area, and can receive basic information about medical concerns and information about laws in their community. You can also access help 24/7 online by visiting https://hotline. rainn.org/online.
On the other side of the spectrum, if you are ever unsure about what your partner wants, ask. The best way to prevent a bad situation is to communicate effectively. Nothing is implied. And at the end of the day, consent and permission should be the absolute bare minimum of a sexual encounter. The starting point. Couples should seek active and enthusiastic consent and participation as a goal with their partner, not merely a begrudging allowance or a pressured, reluctant permission. If you have to “convince” them, they aren't interested. Having to pester your way into the pants of your partner is not a sign of a healthy respect of their personal boundaries. When signals are mixed, the answer is “no.” When you're not quite sure, the answer is “no.” If the response is “I don't know,” or “maybe,” your answer is “no.” You are in control of your own actions. Don't be a statistic.
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