The art of listening

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” - Alan Greenspan.
I’ve been guilty of it. My guess is you have been, too. Someone is talking or giving their name and my mind is thinking of a response or wandering somewhere else, and I miss what is said or don’t remember the name.
Listening is an art. It requires us to be patient, receptive, open-minded and non-judgmental. It requires us to not put words in other people’s mouths, fill in gaps or presume to understand the other person fully.
For Christians in our world today, the ability to communicate effectively is becoming increasingly important. In many ways, listening is just as important as speaking. Being a good listener helps solve problems, resolve and improve . In the workplace, effective listening contributes to fewer errors, less wasted time and improved accuracy. Effective listening helps build friendships and relationships.
Read through the Gospels and you’ll find many instances of Jesus communicating with people. Look closely and you’ll notice that Jesus not only spoke to people but He actively listened to them as well.
Being a good listener is important. Just because you’re quiet and you let others do most of the talking, doesn’t mean you’re a good listener. And just because you’re good at talking and receiving what the other says, also doesn’t mean you’re a good listener. Hearing isn’t necessarily listening, nor is it necessarily listening well. As G.K. Chesterton said, “there’s a lot of difference between hearing and listening.” We want to listen.
Following are some tips for improving this important life skill in our everyday connection with people:
1. Make eye contact and give signals that you are listening. Nod, smile, frown, laugh, groan, etc. to let the person know you are in tune with what they are saying. It’s important to demonstrate some interest and comprehension and not have a poker face without expression.
2. Practice active listening. The art of listening isn’t simply about staying quiet, it’s also about asking questions. These questions are for clarification, or for further explanation so that you can fully understand what the speaker is telling you.
3.  Listen Without Thinking. In other words, listen without forming responses in your mind. Be wholehearted and listen to the entire message. It’s very tempting to fill the spaces, after all, our minds think around 800 words per minute, compared to 125-150 words we speak per minute. Don’t miss valuable information by letting your mind wander!
4. Finally, listen to non-verbal communication. About 60-75 percent of our communication is non-verbal. In order to know whether to encourage the speaker, to open yourself more, or to be more supportive, what the person’s body language might be saying could be significant.
The difference that the power of listening has is important: it makes us feel more connected to others and life, and shows respect. Proverbs 12:15 states, “He or she who is wise, listens.” It is good to be wise.