My dad has taught me many things, such as riding a bike, how to bait a worm or cricket onto a hook for fishing (although, I hate touching crickets, so I still ask him to do it for me...) and how to change a tire on my car.
In amongst those practical-skill lessons, though, he has also taught different life values and given instruction under the current of teaching.
When I learned to ride a bike, I gained the ability to zoom down the trail when we'd go biking as a family...but I also learned the value of not giving up. In the same way, fishing was never just about fishing – it was about the value of enjoying the little, lazy details of life.
This Father's Day, I am reflecting on the different life lessons that my dad has taught me throughout the years....and while I'm not sure if teaching these things were my dad's intent, they are values that have stuck with me anyway.
Make room for yourself. In the world, no one is going to clear a spot for you at the table. No one is going to achieve your success for you. Make a space for yourself and don't let anyone tell you where you do or do not belong. He has always been the one encouraging me to move forward when I feel like I wasn't good enough or talented enough to achieve success. If I didn't take that step, no one else would offer to take the step for me.
Get back up again. There is no quitting, when learning to ride a bicycle or anything else. When I fell off the bike, skinning my knees and elbows, he'd give me a moment to nurse the pain before demanding I get back up. “If you don't get up now, you won't get back on the bike ever again,” he'd say when I insisted I wanted to 'stop for a little while.' He knew that if I quit whenever I got tired of trying, I'd never find it in me to try again.
We both stayed out there, in the parking lot of our apartment complex, until I could ride in wide circles on my two-wheeled bicycle without toppling over. He was right – I needed to master that skill then, I needed to feel success before I could call it a day.
Fishing isn't about catching. Sometimes, you don't win a prize with everything you do and as long as you enjoy the process, you won't feel disappointed by coming home empty-handed. When you enjoy what you are doing and you find a passion in the progress, you don't need the results. Sometimes, fishing isn't about coming home with a load of fish for dinner – it is about being out on the water, listening to wildlife on the banks and enjoying the moment.
Don't cut jalapeno peppers without gloves. This “life-lesson” was more of a “watch and learn” scenario. Let's just say...he spent two days with pepper-burnt hands and I learned that lesson merely by his example. Jalapeno peppers aren't a joke – wear gloves when cutting them raw.
When you make coffee, make enough for others. It is a small act that makes others feel loved. When they burst into the kitchen, late for whatever schedule their day holds, and you can inform them “you don't have to worry about making coffee, there's enough for both of us.” It is a tiny act – but a mighty act. When you show that forethought of care, that preparation for the other person, it is an act of love that they carry gently with them throughout the whole day.
Change a tire, check your oil. It will save you money and you won't need to accept the help of strange men on the side of the highway.
It is important to stay in the know. It's thanks to him that even before I could vote, I'd watch political debates. He is the member of our family who stays looped into news networks, who kept subscriptions to newspapers and would stay involved with the current events in our community, state and country. It is important to stay knowledgeable over what is happening around us.
Never give your spirit to someone that won't invest in you. I watched him work long hours for an employer who wouldn't ever give him a chance to move up the ladder. He would get home late, so tired that he went straight to bed. I saw it almost break him – and I saw him change. I saw him leave and find a place who did appreciate his hard work, good work and honest work. I saw him be valued for his contributions. Sometimes, you give pieces of yourself to a person, a place or a career and sometimes, they keep those pieces and don't give anything back. That constant flow of give-give-give with never any recompense is not worth the slow wilt of your spirit. Invest in people who invest in you.
Know people. It is important to have connections with a wide variety of people in different careers and walks of life. Know people whose knowledge and expertise balances out where your knowledge and experience ends. Know people who help give you a different insight into the lives that others lead. If you only interact with people in a particular 'circle', you'll never grow past that circle.
You don't need to go out in order to relax. A beer on the porch tastes just as good as a beer in a downtown pub.
The thing you think is scary? It's not nearly as scary as you think. When I was eight and afraid to jump into the deep end of the pool, he said I'd be disappointed in myself if I let my fear win. When I was 15 and learning to drive, he insisted it wasn't as frightening as I thought it was. Several years later, and it turns out he was right about both.
Thank you, dad, for the different experiences you've given me and the different lessons you have taught throughout the years....even the jalapeno incident.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
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