Laura Young
ECB Publishing, Inc.
An extra meeting was added to this year's calendar for the Monticello Community Prayer Breakfast so that the group could recognize Jefferson Correctional Institution (JCI) as a valuable community partner.
Organizer Gary Wright explained, “I thought it would be appropriate if we could make this an appreciation for the facility, for the employment and for the work they do in our community. So I broke the rule of not having meetings in June, and I said we need to have a special meeting.”
JCI hosted the gathering in its training facility and served up a delicious breakfast buffet of eggs, sausages, grits, biscuits and pastries. After fellowship, music, announcements and prayers, Wright introduced JCI Warden Gary Hewitt as the guest speaker.
Hewitt shared that the topic he chose grew out of his staff's experience of losing a beloved team member, Ms. Walker, who had recently passed away.
“In the department, like a lot of agencies, we have policy and procedure for just about everything you can think of,” Hewitt began. “If something goes on on that compound, we've got a rule or a policy or a manual. We train for those things. We document, document, document all the time. But one thing we don't have in those manuals is how do you deal with the trauma of losing a teammate, losing one of your family members. You don't see that in a lot of policy and procedure manuals because it's just not there.”
Still, of course, he had the responsibility to talk with his staff about it.
“It's pretty tough,” he said, “because Ms. Walker is one of the pieces of that puzzle up there that people don't think about all the time. She's my staff assistant, and you don't realize how important that person is until something happens, They don't just answer the phone; they don't just do paperwork; they are intertwined, interwoven into that whole institution.”
When Hewitt went home the evening after he got the sad news, he couldn't sleep. When he can't sleep, Hewitt said, he likes to read, but he wasn't sure what to read. So he prompted a Google search for “books to help deal with death and loss.” Strangely, one of the first things to pop up was a Dr. Seuss book, “Oh, the Places You'll Go!”
“What in the world does this have to do with loss and death?” Hewitt had wondered, and then went on to read it to see.
“Everyone knows how Dr. Seuss books work,” he continued to share. “It's all rhyming. There's all the artwork, the odd characters, but it just goes to show you that there's always something else that you don't think about. It also goes to show you that, when you least expect it, there's a higher power at work.”
He quoted from the book, “'Congratulations! Today is your day! You're off to great places. You're off and away' then commented, “It would be easy to say that's graduation ceremonies, great life events, but when you think about it, death is not the end of the story. It's the ultimate commencement, right? It's when we pack up our earthly belongings, and we head off to the greatest, most mysterious destination of our journey.”
Next he read, “'You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.' Throughout life, we're the ones that make those decisions. We choose where to go; we choose what road to go down; we choose what path to take. Death strips away that. We don't need to steer anymore. We don't have to make that choice anymore – it's already been made for us. While we are in control of how we live, the end is a grander, more natural part of life. Our feet can no longer walk, so we're simply being guided to a different place by a higher power within us.”
The next segment says, “I'm sorry to say so, but sadly it's true, that bang ups and hang ups can happen to you.”
“What's he talking about?” said Hewitt. “In life, grief, loss, pain and suffering. This is the part of the book that Dr. Seuss refers to as 'the slump' … Death is the ultimate way out of the slump. It clears the fog. It's the peaceful assurance that the pain and confusion has ended and peace has finally taken over because we've left this earthly realm and gone to a different place, a far better place.”
Continuing on, Hewitt read, “'You'll join the high flyers. You'll soar to high heights.' This is one of the hard ones because when you lose someone, we feel they've left us behind. One of things the journey teaches you is that they haven't left us behind. They are just soaring higher than we are. They are looking down on us with a new perspective about life … We shouldn't really be sad; we should be happy for them because they are where we want to be.”
The book also says, “Out there things can happen and frequently do, to people as brainy and footsy as you.”
Hewitt pointed out here, “Again, death's a place we all go. It's a universal shared destination. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, religion or nationality. Every one of us shares death. It asks us to look at what we've left behind – the lessons we learned, the love we gave and the memories etched into the hearts of those that remain. Death is simply turning a new chapter of the unknown.”
“Will you succeed?” the book asks, then answers, “Yes, you will indeed. Ninety-eight and three-quarter percent guaranteed.”
Interpreting this passage in the context of loss, Hewitt said, “If we loved deeply, if we learned our lessons, if we made our mark, we are guaranteed to succeed. It reminds us not to cry because it's over but to smile because it happened.”
Finally, the book reassures that whatever your name is, “You're off to great places. Today is your day. Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.”
“Death, much like life, is an adventure,” commented Hewitt. “It's the climb up the final mountain. Our loved ones are not gone, they are just getting on their way to the next great place. So we honor them by celebrating the places they went, the mountains they climbed, the journey they took … We make choices that define our character. In some professions, much like the one we're in here, every day you can see how choices alter destinies.”
Hewitt concluded by noting that while death strips away one's control, it cannot strip away the destination one chose while here. Ms. Walker, he said, chose a path of service, kindness and dedication.
“She steered her life well. I hope we all can.”
Faith, he said, is how we guide ourselves to make good choices and how we know that we do not walk alone.
“That's what I learned from a Dr. Seuss book at 2 o'clock in the morning,” said Hewitt, “after a tremendous loss.”
The next Community Prayer Breakfast will take place on Thursday, Sept. 3, at the First Methodist Church.
IN THE FEATURED PHOTO: JCI Warden Gary Hewitt